Short Story: Julie Presents ‘Heartbreaker’

The following is an original, brand new story featuring the central character from my books Slices of Julie and Julie by the Fire. For those who need the refresher, Julie Harper is a slasher of my own design, a campfire story, an urban legend, a girl who can strike at any time, in any place, for any and possibly no reason at all. Please enjoy this special Valentine’s Day tale of the girl who killed the girl next door…

“I’m going to ask her to move in.”

Joe blurted it out, then sat in silence, waiting for any response from the other side of the table. Teddy usually had his back on things like this, so the lack of response was the last thing he’d expected before he’d asked the question. Teddy took another sip of his drink, cautious, not even making eye contact. After a few seconds, he asked as delicately as possible, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course,” Joe said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Only seconds ago, they’d been hanging out like normal, just sitting in Joe’s apartment having a few drinks and watching TV. Sure, sometimes the mood could change when he brought up Annie, Joe wasn’t blind to that. But never anything like this. Usually, he didn’t care what his friends thought about the girls he dated. Teddy wasn’t any friend, though, they’d been best friends since kindergarten and he usually trusted his opinion on things like this. He always listened to Teddy, too. Maybe that was what he was afraid of, if anything. Sure, he’d dated these first two years of college, but Annie was the first girl Joe had been serious about since he had been a sophomore in high school. He knew that for certain, even as new as this relationship was. Even if that wasn’t such a long time in the grand scheme of things, it felt huge.

Teddy’s gut was almost always right. He had caught Heather’s manipulation tactics, the pointed things she would say to oh-so-subtly turn Joe against his friends and family, right away. He had been the first to mention that Lori, who Joe insisted had simply been a bit of a space cadet, was strung out and would steal Joe’s wallet for meth the first chance she got. And that was exactly what she had done. Joe was inherently too trusting, and that was exactly why he needed someone like Teddy by his side. The greatest wingman, he supposed, wasn’t just the guy who could help you land the plane, but the one who could accurately predict the weather.

That was why he felt the knot in his stomach now. He wanted Teddy to like Annie. He wanted the rest of his friends and his parents to like her too. Joe really liked this girl. Even when they were here, hanging out, he was thinking about her. This was the way it had been for the past few weeks, and he was frankly loving it.

“Well,” Teddy said finally, “you haven’t exactly known her very long.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Joe said, conceding the point. And it was. He had only been dating Annie for two weeks. He was well aware, on some level, that it was an awfully short amount of time to ask someone to move in. And he had tried to care about it, to think it through. But then he thought of her eyes, of that small, subtle smile on her pale face, and he just couldn’t. Every time he thought of her, he melted. He was even doing it right now.

They had met in the dining hall, fairly unceremoniously. It had just been a normal first interaction. He’d been with his friends and she’d been with hers, both of them standing toward the back, on the fringe of their respective groups, bumping into each other on their way out the door. They’d said nothing other than a quick and mumbled “sorry.” But she had smiled at him. That had been enough to keep him thinking about her most of the rest of that day. When they went to dinner, he looked for her, and hadn’t seen her. But after that, when he went to the library, there she had been, browsing the stacks. Never one to worry about making the first movie, Joe had been surprised by his own hesitance in his approach. But he pushed through it and struck up a conversation. She told him that her name was Annie, she had only transferred here a month ago, that was why he had never seen her around campus. He didn’t get much information out of her other than that, but it didn’t matter. The rest came through in her personality, her sense of humor, and of course those dark eyes. And that smile.

Always that smile.

That had been that. They had gone out the next night and they’d been together ever since. Granted, yes, that had only been two weeks, but they had been the best two weeks of his life. He hadn’t admitted that to anyone yet. Not to her, because he knew how it sounded and he didn’t want to scare her off. And not to Teddy, because he knew that Teddy would look at him exactly the way he was looking at him right now.

“I just worry about you, man,” Teddy said. “You don’t always see things that you maybe should and you’re really rushing into this.”

“She’s not going to steal my wallet for meth, man, that was one time.”

“The fact that it happened once kind of proves my point.” Teddy sighed. “Plus, you’re under the assumption that I even think she’s going to say yes. I’m not. Most girls would not be thrilled to get this question dropped on them two weeks into a relationship.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Exactly!” Teddy tensed up in his seat. “Get her flowers, man. Take her to dinner somewhere not in the dining hall. Do something normal, not whatever this is.”

Joe sighed and thought it over. “So you don’t think she’ll say yes.”

Teddy stared at him. “You’re not listening to a word I said, man. I don’t love that about this girl. Every other girl you’ve ever dated, every single one, you’ve listened to reason. I’m telling you, there’s a good possibility she’s gonna say no. And I’m also really, really trying to tell you that if she says yes, that’s worse.”

“I’m gonna do it.”

Teddy rolled his eyes, defeated. There was nothing else he could do once Joe’s mind was made up. “It’s your funeral, man.”

“You know what?” Joe looked at him, pointedly. “You keep telling me I’m too trusting all the time. I think you’re too mistrusting. All the true crime shit you watch has you thinking that everyone you meet is gonna cut you up and leave you in a ditch off the side of the highway.”

“Hey. Hey. You don’t know they won’t.”

Joe couldn’t help but break a smile, happy to let some of the tension relieve. “See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about.” He thought about it a second longer. “I think the issue is that you two just haven’t spent enough time together.” Another second, then it hit him. “You know what? You should come over here tonight.”

Teddy looked at him blankly. “What?”

“Come on, it makes perfect sense.”

“No, it doesn’t. You want me to come along on your date on Valentine’s Day?”

“Think about it, man. You said it yourself, we’re only a couple weeks into the relationship and that’s the most awkward time for Valentine’s Day. You never know how into it you’re supposed to get. I don’t want to go over-the-top and scare her away, but what if she wants me to get over-the-top? But then what if we’re not that serious yet? I think we are. I hope we are.” He took a breath. “See, you know how neurotic I get about things like this.”

“But asking her to move in with you is fine.”

Joe shrugged, finally considering it. “Maybe we should just see how the night goes.”

“Yes, thank you. That’s the first sane thing you’ve said all day.”

With that, Teddy headed off to class, leaving Joe alone to plan the night by himself. He had never been in a relationship this new on Valentine’s Day before. Two weeks? He had no idea what he was supposed to do. And as much as he had hoped not to, he found himself going over the top as the day went on. Flowers, chocolate, he even almost bought balloons before he remembered that this was a dinner date and not a child’s birthday party.

Once everything was set up, Joe started cooking. Cajun chicken wasn’t exactly a romantic dish, but it was something he knew how to make really well and that was the most important thing. It was also something he could make without issue in his very restrictive apartment kitchen. That was no small factor either.

By the time he finished cooking, Teddy had shown back up. He barely even had any time to stress about what he’d forgotten. Joe knew it was Teddy without even having to look over his shoulder, because Teddy never bothered to knock. He supposed he should find it alarming or intrusive, but it was actually nice, his best friend’s way of announcing himself by not announcing himself. They barely had time to sit down and talk before Annie knocked on the door.

She looked beautiful. Pale, dark hair, darker eyes, and wearing the same lavender blouse she’d been wearing the day they first met. It was pathetic that he found himself impressed that she remembered, it had only been two weeks ago, but he was all the same. “Wow,” he stammered. “You, uh, you look great.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

He stepped aside for her to enter and she took only a few steps into the room before her eyes widened and she said, “Hey, Teddy. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Fuck. That was what he’d forgotten. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Joe said. “I completely forgot to tell you I was going to invite him.”

Teddy mouthed “what the fuck?” At him, then said out loud, “It’s cool. I can get going and leave you two to your thing. Happy Valentine’s Day.” He stood up.

“No,” Annie said. “Stay, it’s fine. More the merrier, right?”

Teddy still looked uncertain. “Today?”

“Yeah, sure,” she said. “I don’t mind keeping things casual.”

“Casual,” Joe said, looking around at the display of flowers and candy. “Yeah. Totally.”

She kissed him. “Your hard work has not gone unnoticed, don’t worry. You did great.”

Joe beamed. “I did?”

Smiling, she turned to Teddy. “Is he always this high strung?”

Teddy nodded. “Trust me, yes.”

Annie sat down on the couch. After a quick spot check to finish cleaning the kitchen, Joe sat down beside her. Annie glanced between the two friends. “So I know how we met. How did you guys meet?”

“We literally met on the steps outside school on the first day of kindergarten,” Teddy said. “Took one look at each other’s shirts and then you couldn’t keep us apart. We had to be separated before the end of that day because we couldn’t stop talking.” He paused. “Not actually a great first impression on the teacher, come to think of it.”

Annie raised an eyebrow. “Shirt?”

“Yeah,” Joe explained. “We had the same dinosaur shirt on.”

“Wow, that’s adorable,” Annie said with a smile. “T-Rex? Velociraptor?”

“Spinosaurus,” Joe said. “Jurassic Park III was still relatively recent at the time.”

“Did you know that they recently discovered that Spinosaurus was a fully aquatic dinosaur?” Annie relaxed in her seat. “I read something about that.”

Joe’s heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. “Wait, you know about dinosaurs? How did I not know about this?”

Annie shrugged. “For some ungodly reason, they tend not to come up in conversation as much in college as they do in kindergarten.” She stopped, considering. “Unless you’re studying to be a paleontologist, I suppose.”

Joe smiled. “If you tell me you’re majoring in paleontology, we’re kicking Teddy out right now.”

“No,” she said. “Criminal law, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know. But when you say something like that, you know, I have to double check.”

“Naturally.”

Joe stood up. “Well, the chicken’s done if we want to eat.”

“Wait,” Annie said. “We’re not done with the meet cute stories.”

Joe’s brow furrowed. “We told the story of how Teddy and I met and you already know how you and I met. What’s left to tell?”

Annie slowly took Teddy’s hand in hers, interlocking their fingers. She looked back at Joe with a smile he had never seen before. It scared him. “Don’t you want to know how we met?” she said.

Joe’s heart sank and his whole body felt cold. “That’s so not funny,” he said.

She shrugged. “It’s not a joke.” She untangled her hand from Teddy’s. “And actually, it’s very funny if you’re me.” She turned to Teddy. “Do you want to tell it, or should I?”

Teddy put his hands up. “It’s your show.”

“Good answer,” Annie said. “I’d like to say we met on the dark web, but honestly you can get away with anything on the regular web these days. We were chatting in some true crime and, okay, I’ll admit, some serial killer role-play forums before he started to figure out who I really was.” She smiled at Joe. “Spoiler alert: my name’s not Annie. It’s Julie. Julie Harper.”

Joe stared in expected shock, but the name clearly did not register.

“Really?” She sighed. “Okay, now I’m a little offended, babe.”

Teddy leaned in. “You know, Julie Harper. From that documentary show I could never convince you to watch with me.” He grinned. “Bet you’re wishing you watched it now.”

It clicked and Joe’s throat went dry. “Julie Harper, the…”

“Mass murderer. Langdon Slasher. The girl who killed the girl next door. Whatever you want to call me, it’s me.”

Joe shook his head, but was so frozen and numb in the moment that he wasn’t sure if he was really doing it or just thinking he was doing it. “You’re fucking with me.” He turned his eyes down. “This is a really messed up joke, guys.”

Annie — Julie — went on. “Once I’d confided to Teddy that I was exactly who he thought I was, he convinced me to come here. Two weeks ago. It was February and I guess we were an item, so we thought, ‘hey, we should do something for Valentine’s Day.’”

“I didn’t know what, though,” Teddy said. “I mean, I’d been enamored with this girl for so long, I’d watched every special, listened to every podcast and now she was here in my arms. You have any idea what that feels like? I mean, shit, what would happen if you wound up on a date with, uh, whoever that one is you’re obsessed with now. Elizabeth Olsen.”

“I…” Joe stammered, but he couldn’t get any further than that.

“It’s rhetorical,” Teddy said. He paused, then grinned. “But then it hit me. Especially in annoying as hell interactions like this one. I knew exactly what we could do: kill my best friend.”

Julie raised a glass. “Now that is how you win my heart on Valentine’s Day.”

“I’ll call the police,” Joe said. “I swear to God, I will.”

Teddy gave a slight nod. “Well, duh. That’s why I unplugged your router and took your phone when I was here this afternoon. Because I know you. And when you’re obsessive and neurotic over a girl, you can’t focus on anything else, and that’s an opportunity I just couldn’t miss. I knew you wouldn’t miss either of them because you’d spend every remaining second of the day putting this dumb crap together.” He took a breath, then looked at Joe again, his eyes hard and cold. “I hate you, Joe. I really want you to hear that because I’ve been waiting to tell you that for so long. I hate you with everything inside me. And I want you to listen to me very carefully right now.”

Everything inside of Joe was screaming, but he did not move.

“You have never had a best friend,” Teddy said. “I learned from a very young age that where other kids felt playful, and smiled, and laughed, I only had hate and I had it for all of them. But if I laughed too, I could mask it very easily. So I did. You have never had a best friend, Joe, and since every other friend kind of came and went circumstantially, you’ve pretty much never had a friend. I have never once been on your side. Every moment of support and love you have had from me was a lie, you have never had those things. You have never had anyone in your corner who did not want you dead every second of the day. Your life is not worth living, I believe that with everything that I have and I think if you really loved me like a brother and cared for me as a friend, it would be incredibly goddamn selfish of you to even want to survive.”

“Jesus,” Julie said. “That’s a little too fucked up even for me.”

“Julie, though,” Teddy smiled at her. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. She’s taught me how to give in to that anger and I found out something incredible. I do know joy, and happiness, and love. It’s all right there, inside of the rage, like an Easter Egg. If I just let myself go.” He reached into his coat for something wrapped in a plastic bag and began to unwrap it. Joe recognized it as his own kitchen knife. “Oh yeah,” Teddy said. “I also took this.”

Joe stepped back and screamed a little, startled as he bumped into the wall. Even now, despite everything, he was embarrassed by that. But nobody laughed at him. They just kept looking at him with those hungry, predatory eyes. He glanced to the door and wondered if he would be fast enough, if he could make it in time. But Teddy fixed his eyes on him and held the knife firmly in his hand, pointed directly toward Joe’s chest. He knew exactly who had the power here.

It finally hit Joe that there was nothing he could do to save his own life. He’d never thrown a punch, he had never had to fight or even think about fighting himself out of any situation. It was a firm, concrete and sobering realization. This was it. “No,” he muttered out loud to himself.

Teddy stared at him blankly. “No what?”

“NO!” Joe swung at Teddy, his fist colliding with his “best friend’s” ear.

“Damn it!” Teddy growled, doubling over and dropping the knife. “You hit me in the ear!”

Julie rolled her eyes. “You’re unbelievable.” She calmly picked the knife up off the floor as Joe moved as fast as he could to the door.

She kept pace behind him and slashed at both of his calves before he could make it, knocking him down. Julie grabbed the remote for Joe’s sound system and turned the music all the way up to drown out the rising sounds of Joe’s screams. Julie tilted her head at the sound of the music. It was the poor sap’s Valentine’s Day love song playlist. But screw it, she thought, it would have to do. She turned Joe over on his back and tore his shirt with her hand to reveal his pasty, bare chest as Celine Dion crooned from the speakers.

Joe’s eyes were wide and wet and terrified, but he said nothing. Whether because of the pain or the fact that he’d simply accepted his fate, neither one of them truly knew.

Julie turned her soft, dark eyes down to look directly into his. “I want you to know, it didn’t mean nothing to me,” she said. “You really are a very sweet guy.” She traced the tip of the knife across his chest. “And I’m honored to have your heart.”

With that, she drove the knife into his chest, directly penetrating his heart. Blood bubbled up around the wound, then started gushing. It reminded her of a volcano she’d made for her fifth grade science fair.

Julie pulled the knife out and stood up. She turned back to Teddy, who had a small, pouty look on his face. She sighed. “What?”

“I thought I was going to get to do it.”

“Oh for the love of God. He was going to get away.” She stepped back as Joe bled out on the floor. “You had the knife in your hand, you had every opportunity. You just botched it.”

Teddy looked down.

She stepped toward him. “Hey, I had a few stumbles when I was starting out as well, believe me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s okay.” She turned the music down and stepped closer. Kissing him.

He kissed her back, passionately.

She pulled back a little, running a hand through his hair. “Teddy,” she said, looking off into the distance. “You know, I had a teddy once. A stuffed bear, that is. His name was Baxter.” She turned her eyes toward his, a small, sly smile forming on her face. “I killed him, too.”

“No-”

Teddy could say nothing else before she drove the knife deep into his stomach. Everything he tried to say after that came out in a low cough. Julie stood over him, grinning. “You’re just as bad as he is, you know that, right? You think we’re, what, an item? Worse, destiny? We met online! Jesus, guys, it’s college. Be casual.”

Teddy dropped to his knees. His eyes were wide and betrayed, but then the anger took over.

Julie looked wholly unthreatened. “Oh, what are you gonna do? Fight me off? You’re bleeding out. But if you need help speeding up the process…” she stabbed him again and again. “I’m sorry dude, but you more than most literally brought this on yourself.” As he opened his mouth to say something else, she slit his throat. That did the trick. He slumped to the floor beside Joe. “Like you said, Teddy,” she said. “It’s my show.” She grabbed a tissue from the counter and wiped the handle of the knife, then placed it gently in Teddy’s dead hand.

Beside the box of tissues, sat one of three boxes of chocolates Joe had picked up for the occasion. Julie shrugged and opened it. She picked one at random and plopped it into her mouth as she moved to the door. Her face wrinkled into an utterly disgusted look.

“Fuck,” she groaned, and spat it out.

Slices of Julie and Julie by the Fire are available now.